Building a solid foundation for an argument on my topic was a little difficult, so I've decided that i am going to be writing a more persuasive paper. I will be persuading my audience towards the idea of EDM culture not just being a huge Drug festival and that it does bring together millions of people, supports multitudes of charities and altogether deserves more respect than the media has been casting on it. to ensure that my voice is heard clearly i will address the fact that drug users do still exist and are a very big problem in the EDM community. Different people argue in many ways about how the EDM culture is nowadays. Activists will say that it is a wonderful experience to go to a festival or that the business going on behind the music is booming, whereas those with views would bring up the death in 2011 as one of my sources, Derek Staples did in "Why MDMA is destroying EDM". Some possible people in my audience that don't include anybody in our class would be concert goers and EDM fans without a doubt, but i would hope that it could also reach out to bigger names like the people who run events such as Insomniac productions or those in charge of the venues that concerts get played at. My personal position on this is that The dangers brought to the EDM scene by rampant drug users are getting attention, but in the worst way possible. i believe that while it is a problem that needs to be fixed, it is the only problem being shown on the front page and that page may as well be titled "Don't Go to an EDM Show". it's all so harsh on the issue that the media would drown out the position of the other concert goers that must deal with it directly. I recently went to a concert, so some of my personal experience from that will affect my paper through my examples. that concert would cover this issue very well i assume, mostly because the concert was HDYFEST on April 20th. in other words it was a 4/20 show at red rocks in colorado. I've got plenty of examples to throw into this paper. I hope to present this paper to my readers as an invitation to anybody who claims to have a viewpoint on this issue but has never experienced it first hand. I want my readers to develop a view that is real, not one that they learned through the grapevine.
Cited
"The Rise of EDM." Music Business Journal Berklee
College of Music RSS. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 Apr. 2016.
"Why MDMA Is Destroying EDM." Consequence of Sound. N.p., 04
Sept. 2013. Web. 13 Apr. 2016.
Not a bad start, James. I definitely think it has potential. Just make sure you give yourself time to really unpack and go into depth with the details you mention. Here are a few points that stood out to me:
ReplyDeleteYou say, "it [your topic] could also reach out to bigger names like the people who run events such as Insomniac productions or those in charge of the venues that concerts get played at."--Why would you want to reach out to these individuals. I like that this targets a specific group, so maybe run with this. How can you tailor your claims to these individuals, and, then, what would the purpose be? To get them to host these events? What would the benefit be, the cost? What's the value here? Considering these things might help you enhance/develop your argument some.
" I've got plenty of examples to throw into this paper."--Be sure that you have enough credible research as well. Don't rely too much on just your personal examples. These are good, but be sure you can verify and take a strong position through substantial research as well.
" I want my readers to develop a view that is real, not one that they learned through the grapevine."--I like how you put this. Be sure you make it happen through the research.